Chris Read

Batting

Type Right-hand
Inns 16
Not outs 3
Runs 199
Ave 15.30
Strike rate 34.79
50s 0
100s 0
Best 38* v B, Chittagong, 2003
How out% b 12, c 38, lbw 31, run out 0, not out 19

Bowling Has not bowled

Wicketkeeping

Catches 31
Stumpings 4


At the wicket He's the one who...
Your gran would definitely approve of; perhaps the nicest boy in English sport now that Tim Henman has discovered swearing. Looks and sounds like a helium-inflated jockey. Can't get into nightclubs. Keeps wicket so peerlessly that he can't get a game for his country as a wicketkeeper.

Words to sledge him with
Got any ID? ... Cairns ... duck!

Form guide
Has been in decent touch with the bat at county level but, with England seeking centuries galore, Read's output is a Band-Aid for a bulletwound.

Top trump
The smoothest pair of hands around. Read is arguably the best specialist wicketkeeper in the world, as neat and tidy as the towels at the Hilton. With the bat he has perfected the sweet-spotted smite to cow corner, particularly in the later stages of tight one-day games.

Achilles heel
The selectors. Kept sublimely in the Caribbean last winter but was replaced by Geraint Jones for the final Test. Rodney Marsh stood up for him but he's no longer a selector.

Vital statistic
No half-centuries in 33 innings for England.

Alternative history
Picks Chris Cairns's slower ball at Lord's in 1999 and whaps it for six. Match-winning 226 makes him England's poster boy. Immaculate glovework catches eye of Sir Alex Ferguson, who rates him "the best since Schmeichel" and the answer to Manchester United's problems at the back. Notts unable to match £60,000-a-week offer.

Ramprakash's verdict
Very good keeper but we've not seen the best of him with the bat for England. He averaged 50 for Notts last season. If anything happens to Geraint Jones, Read will be ready.

Beyond a boundary

Outside interests
Whiney, British, life's-so-hard rock: cites his favourite bands as Stereophonics, Coldplay and Travis. And that was before Geraintgate. Now supposed to have graduated to Bauhaus and The Smiths.

Hidden talents
Pretty accomplished hockey player: represented Devon at under-18 and under-21 level and the West of England at under-17s. Still plays for his local side when possible, like when there's a Test on.

One of the lads?
Not shy and retiring but then no ringleader. Nicknamed "Mutley" because of propensity to sit in the corner sniggering like the Wacky Races character.

What he'll say
"Geraint has raised the bar and I know what I have to do to get back in the team now."

What he means
"That drongo couldn't catch a cold."

Not to be confused with... Marks & Spencer
Solid, reliable, won't let you down but just lacks that little bit of sparkle. Does the basics better than anyone but unlikely to come to the party when it really matters. Unless, perhaps, it's a garden party hosted by the local bowls club.