From tumblers to bumblers... how those goal celebrations rate

Lomano Lua-Lua (Newcastle United)

I know Lomano used to be a gymnast and he's set a high standard for the rest of the Premiership to follow with his goal celebrations against West Ham on Monday.

From a gymnastics point of view his backflips are a little bit short and he would incur quite a few deductions. But he's pretty good, especially for a footballer.

Footballers tend to be a lot less flexible than gymnasts. I played for Middlesex and had a trial at Brentford, and when my team-mates asked me to teach them flips, they had no coordination for it.

Lomano's got a reasonable amount of talent but he does need to work on his technique. His backflip should be a bit longer so he'd get a better, higher somersault at the end of the routine.

If he's going to carry on scoring at this rate, he'll need some new moves as well. He could try some somersaults and handsprings forward - a bit like Robbie Keane does, only a lot better - and then go into a somersault. Or he could add some twists to the end of his back-somersaults while he's in the air.

If he wants to get in touch, I'd be willing to talk him through some stuff and teach him a new move or two.
8/10

Robbie Keane (Leeds United)

Robbie's routine isn't that good and he needs to work a lot on his technique. His celebration is a mixture between a round-off and a handspring, and he should clarify a bit more what he's trying to do.

He'd be bordering on an illegal move in competition and would be better off working towards a proper handspring - with straighter arms and legs - so it would look a lot more stylish.

If you do it properly you can end up running out of it, and he could go into a Klinsmann dive. At the moment he has to do the bow and arrow because they shoot from their knees and he's landing in that bad position. He has improved, though. The first time I saw him, he almost fell over.
5/10

John Arne Riise (Liverpool)

With his habit of swinging his shirt around his head, he's going towards rhythmic gymnastics - which I'm sorry to tell him is strictly for women.

He might rate quite highly on the points scoring with his routine but if he's got any self-respect he should drop it.

When he's pumping his chest muscles, he's not got bad definition for a footballer, who tend to work more on their legs. The muscles are in the right place for him to be a gymnast and he might be able to work on the rings.

As for the slide on his knees, you'd only be looking to do that as a gymnast if you've fallen off apparatus and you want to cover things up, although I've never resorted to that myself.
4/10

Alan Shearer (Newcastle United)

A very dull routine, although I have to admit there aren't many execution faults in it. Definitely the most experienced when it comes to celebrating goals.

If he has a future in gymnastics it would be on the high bar or parallel bars, swinging with his arms. I suggest the high bar because he's used to having an arm above his head.

He'd swing around it backwards and forwards and do releases, letting go for somersaults before catching the bar again.

To jazz up this routine I suggest a 360 degree twist in the air at the end, like Tomas Brolin did. He should get some old Parma videos out.
1/10

Julius Aghahowa (Nigeria)

He's very impressive. I was watching the World Cup and thought he got great height on his somersaults, especially as he's on grass rather than the sprung floors we have.

He does a few backflips before his somersaults, so it's a whole lot more eye-catching and he can use that to generate more speed and get more height.

The presentation, plus the fact he makes it look really easy, give him the edge over Lomana.
9/10