Nanny state

· Never mind dodgy childminders or uncaring nurseries; would you entrust your children to an Ofsted inspector? In the wake of the inspectorate's annual report on early years, highlighting how the watchdog turns nasty when things go wrong, we hear inspectors are often left literally holding the baby during visits to childminders. While the carer goes off to fetch paperwork, early years director Maurice Smith reveals, the inquisitor ends up cuddling grumpy and drooling infants. "David Bell [the chief inspector] and I have often ended up with the old crunchy shoulder," says Smith picturesquely. "Then we have to come back and go to meetings with crayon on our shirts."

· Ministers are taking the cross-Whitehall healthy-living drive seriously. North-east MP David Miliband and his wife, Louise, will take part this year in the annual Great North Run, the popular half-marathon in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. The problem is that the run is on September 26 - the first day of the Labour conference in Brighton. "We suggested that he just keeps going," said an official.

· Unforeseen consequences for the Conservatives after the launch of their flagship higher education policy, under which the abolition of tuition fees will be paid for through commercial interest rates (of up to 8%) on student loans. The Federation of Student Islamic Societies, which says it represents 90,000 Muslim students, gently points out that Islam prohibits Muslims from levying or paying interest. There goes another chunk of the student vote for Michael Howard and Co ...

· Oh dear, oh dear. Some trouble-makers are putting it about that the government is poised to reject Mike Tomlinson's wheeze of an English "diploma", which will be the central plank of his final report on 14-19 education, due to be published in October. The conspiracy theorists reckon that with the general election just round the corner, the idea could be an embarrassing vote-loser in middle England. Government sources point out that ministers endorsed the idea in Tomlinson's interim report, although with a teensy bit of caution: "There will no quick fixes on this. There will be plenty more work to do."

· Former higher education minister Alan Johnson, now moving onwards and upwards, gave an impressive performance in one of his last acts in his old role, a meeting of Commonwealth education ministers to finalise a protocol on curbing the poaching of teachers from the developing world. "Things looked bleak for an agreement until Alan arrived," said one admiring onlooker. The former union man's negotiating skills will come in handy at his new home, the poisoned chalice of the Department for Work and Pensions.